man alive!

I've shied away from life planning as much as possible since graduating from college with the exception of the last few life saving extractions from unhealthy situations, and the whole Librarian decision.  I have found that my neurosis and anxiety is greatly heightened by thinking to far into the future, like looking into infinite space, it gives me the willies like none other, particularly because it is NOT in fact infinite and that I should really be enjoying every moment because I'm going to die soon in comparison to the history of human existence and I haven't even PUBlished anything yet . . . . you can see why I try to make the shortest plans possible.  This brings me to my latest melt down . . .  it's not a new one either, it's an antique brought over from Europe by my starving agrarian ancestors . . . M-O-N-E-Y.

I have figured out how to pay for school, it's wasn't difficult, I decided to just ask someone to lend it to me (mostly, I asked the federal government), but interestingly enough, they  are VERY slow on the response train (they will probably speed up once I owe it to them . .  . great), but that's not even the worst part, I've been attempting to calculate how much money I will need to live for the next year, which is relatively easy, rent, bills, food, annual cat doctor visit, annual julia doctor visit, health insurance, and some emergency money I think . . . but how much emergency money might one person need, this is where the spiral starts: okay, emergency vet visit, emergency hospital visit, some sort of accident to my apartment,or maybe my computer, what if a bridge collapses? or the stock market crashes again?, OR everyone's memory is erased but mine and no one will GIVE me any of the freaking money . . . you can see how this leads to panic, which is a whole emergency in and of itself, because now i need mental health and i'm not sure my discount health insurance will cover it.

 

Comments

[Harith]

[this is good] If everyone's memory is erased, couldn't you just tell everyone on the street that they owe you money? I think I'd probably believe you. You look trustworthy.